How to lose the midterm elections in two easy steps — 2018 Democrat Edition

Step 1: “Abolish ICE!”What does Joe Average hear? “They want to have nobody guarding the borders at all! Everybody, friend and foe and gangs and foreign armies, can just walk in. Not only are those Democrats insane, that’s criminally endangering the country and all of us!”Step 2: “We need socialism!”What does Average Jane hear? “They want to turn this beautiful country into Venezuela where people have become so poor they are down to eating each other’s dogs.”Why in the world would you pick those promises, other than wanting to lose the election, dear Democrats? It’s so easy to fix:Step 1: “We need to replace ICE with an agency that is better at its job keeping the bad guys out, does not put children in cages, isn’t racist and bullying and costs less. They are a disgrace to America and we need a new organization that works better. Supported by immigration reform which Republicans — who have House, Senate and Presidency — have failed to pass now three times in a row. Won’t happen with us, we are ready to get it done immediately.”Step 2: Say all you want about socialism, just PLEASE do not use this word. This word was burned in the US decades ago and cannot be resurrected. Do you want to fight for a word, or an idea? Call it whatever you want, and talk about its advantages for normal people. Because there are many!(Personally I have many qualms with socialism, but it’s hard to argue America’s problems would get worse at this point in 2018 moving in its direction, even if we hopefully never get there, as opposed to where things have been going.)Bonus: “hey Democrat, that thing you talk a about sounds an awful lot like socialism even if you don’t use the word. I don’t want to end up like Venezuela!”Counter: “Oh no, in socialism you have a bunch of strongmen who rig the system so they can enrich themselves while pretending to have free elections. We don’t want to have this at all! We have too many rigged elections in this country already from gerrymandering to Russian interference. Instead, we need fairer elections, with. Ore people participating and making their vote count, starting with making it easier for everybody to vote, and harder for the political dynasties to stay in power. What I’m proposing is the opposite of socialism, it’s simply being kind to each other, helping each other out, I.e. being good Americans.”Just how hard can this be? Current prediction: Democrats will lose.

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